I’m not having a very happy day - I just want to vent for a bit on teh interwebz. Not looking for sympathy - just need to get the thoughts out.
My first day of work made me feel profoundly sad for some reason. Its a job, not the best, but its something to do, yet I feel so resigned to it. I read a quote from a recent graduate that said “Now that school is done, I’m worried that a bad summer could now end up being a bad life.” Hell, that sums up what I’m feeling perfectly. I have a very unflattering and ill-fitting uniform (seems petty, but I hate feeling frumpy), a long commute, I live at home, and far away from my friends and boyfriend, and my weightloss has stopped completely. I keep telling myself that this is not forever, I just need to get through three months, before I can move to Florida and be happy with my bf, but the thought just makes me feel unbelievably sad instead.
I feel so unprepared and apathetic towards anything doing with my future. I have three auditions coming up, and I can’t help but feel that its a waste of my time. Its just so hard to keep putting myself out there, when the past six months was just one giant rejection after another.
I need to get back on track with my goals and future. I know I do. But when I feel stuck in a rut, I find it so hard to pull myself out. Guess I have to trudge along…
